Well, it took me the longest time to get over her, but eventually, it happened.

Time took care of it for me, I was just forced to move on with my life and eventually she became a distant memory.

This brings us up to the most recent subject of my obsession. I thought I was ready, I was sure I was ready. (I was certain I was ready). I got involved with this girl… the facts surrounding our involvement were maybe a bit sketchy.

First, I’m 8 years older that this girl… of course, she seemed far more mature than I had imagined (she really was, smart, dignified, refined, cultured). We had met on several occasions, but she must have been so unmemorable that I had forgotten every one of our previous encounters, except for the most recent one… at which I was meeting a buddy and I was already COMPLETELY shit-face hammered (I guess I made her laugh). (Maybe that should’ve been a sign).

After our first meeting (the one first I remember) I never really found her to be anything too spectacular. In fact, I remember remarking to a friend, that I could see that she might be interested, but I wasn’t, at all.

A few weeks passed (actually almost a month), I won’t say she pestered me, because it wasn’t that at all. She just seemed really dedicated to hang out. I was flattered. Hell, I hadn’t met any girl that was even potentially interesting since I had felt “healed” from the last one.

So, we dated, we got involved, made it official, and I began to fall again… I can’t say I was all the way there, but damn I was close, so close. Then, in a flash, it was all over.

She asked me to go with her for a walk on a cold October day, so I went over. We walked around for about an hour, she was quiet, I tried to keep conversing, but she wouldn’t reciprocate. When we got back to her place and I was about to leave, she laid it on me like a ton of bricks, fuck. So, yeah, she had been enthralled with me from the beginning (so she said), but something had changed. She couldn’t explain it, she just didn’t want me anymore.

Man, I really thought I was ready, but I’m (now) feeling like that shit has just compounded the loss I had (almost?) forgotten from long ago. Fuck.

…read on, I’ll give you a little more about how/what I’m doing…